Geez, it feels like forever since i've been here. But alot has been happening. between working 2 jobs and then taking care or alexis, i've been super busy.
But let' just say I'm getting excited. The wedding is only 8 days away now! This weekend is going to be my bachelorette weekend, and i'm ready to spend sometime with the girls!
I think I am pretty much ready for the wedding. I have to start packing for the cruise this week, which will kinda be a pain, but I think the hardest part is going to be getting chris ready. lol. I have my dress and all that ready, just trying to confirm last min details for hair and nails and all that. I'm so ready to be married! And lately all i have been thinking about is BABIES!!
BABIES, BABIES, BABIES!! I've been checking my ovulation calculator and we have def been trying to conceive this past month or so. I want us to have a baby so bad. i know the more we "try" the hard it is going to be to actually happen. but we kinda both really want it now. We found out a few months ago that Georgia was pregnant, and Rachel is preg with girl #2, and now Nicole is pregnant now too. She just found out last week. So it would be really cool if we could get preggo now. Its almost all i can think about these days. I know im crazy. but i cant help it.
Well For now just gonna focus on the wedding and having fun on our honeymoon, and then we'll see what happens. But either way I'm super excited about the next few weeks. its going to be a blast. I'm so ready! yay!
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Monday, August 8, 2011
Good things finally happening!
Fianlly I got a call on friday that I got the job at david's bridal! I'm super excited about this cause I really think I would be great as a wedding consultant and I really would love to learn that side of things! Even though the postition is only part time, I'm still keeping the job at the college. so I'll have 2 part time jobs, which I think will be really good for me. Hopefully I'll be making a little more money and be able to get caught up on everything. Good things are finally starting to happen for me.. at least I hope they stick also.
Had a great weekend this weekend. Had miss val's bachelorette party on thursday. finally got to go out and have some fun. friday I recooped.. i def had a hang over.. lol. ;P Saturday was val and paul's wedding which was on the beach. It was beautiful and alot of fun! meet some people and a new friend! then sunday I went for orientation for davids and did a little shopping, and then came home to relax and actually ended up cleaning some around the house. Over all had a great weekend! Thank you god for that!
This evening get a great massage from my chasity and studying for the boards! Hopefully this will be a great start to a great week ahead!
Had a great weekend this weekend. Had miss val's bachelorette party on thursday. finally got to go out and have some fun. friday I recooped.. i def had a hang over.. lol. ;P Saturday was val and paul's wedding which was on the beach. It was beautiful and alot of fun! meet some people and a new friend! then sunday I went for orientation for davids and did a little shopping, and then came home to relax and actually ended up cleaning some around the house. Over all had a great weekend! Thank you god for that!
This evening get a great massage from my chasity and studying for the boards! Hopefully this will be a great start to a great week ahead!
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Being a "good wife".. what does that really mean??
So since I will be a wife soon enough, I have been thinking about what being a good wife means. I have a friend that got an ipad and jewelry for "working so hard at being a good wife." Now to me sometimes I dont understand what that means...
Does being a good wife mean doing everything around the house, like cleaning, cooking, picking up after your husband, making sure the house is sparkling every minute of every day, taking care of the kids, and working a full time job?? All the while your husband just works his 40 hours a week and comes home to sit and watch tv, or go out fishing/ hunting, or going to play video games til dark, and he just gets to live like a king. Or is being a good wife, keeping your husband happy in bed, staying in shape and looking good for your husband, and always having a smiling face and a kiss for him when he walks through the door??
I personally think that some of these things are for sure ways of being a good wife, but I was always taught that being in a marriage is working together as partners. If one is having a hard day or a bad week the other is suppose to pick up the slack and help more if needed. Now I understand that the "wife" title does come with responsibilities that are unspoken, but really is that what we are suppose to follow by or can we try to work together as a relationship.
I hardly even get a thank you, or you've been doing great, or good job, or any compliments like that. I know that I may not being doing all that I could be doing for my husband to be, but I'm not a slob. Our house is pretty clean most of the time other than the few bills that may pile up the dinning table, or the dishes in the sink, but over all our house is clean. I dont just sit on my butt and watch tv all day and eat and get fat. I mostly try to embrace my fiance's hobbies and have actually learned to enjoy most of them. But sometimes I still feel like I'm not being the "good wife" that he thinks I should be. I feel as though he thinks I should be all those things I listed above. That's hard for me to swallow sometimes, because I was brought up to be a strong, independent woman, and in relationships you are suppose to work as partners together to accomplish things. I love doing things together. Like cooking: him preparing and cooking the meat, and i would get together the sides and drinks. But that hardly even actually happens. I LOVE going hunting with him beside me, pointing out animals, and other nature sounds, being in the stand together, him coaching me and telling me exactly when to release or pull the trigger. Yet again, now that never happens, cause he wants to be in his own stand so that he can get a deer, drops me off somewhere I'm not familiar with and leave me there alone, knowing I get freaked out in the dark or whatever. I just LOVE to do things with my fiance TOGETHER, and usually now it doesn't happen, and if it does happen, there is always other people there, we can never just do something by ourselves... together. I dont know why either. It makes me sad but nothing I can really do I guess.
Now, dont get me wrong, I DO LOVE my husband to be with all my heart, and really the whole reason of this today is because I do want to make him happy and be that "good wife" that he wants me to be. Its just hard for me to know where to even start and if I do the things he wants, if he is going to say something smartass about it or not believe that I do actually want to do those things for him. I would also like for him to be a "good husband" every now and again. Like go out of his way to plan a dinner for us, surprise me with some flowers here and there, take me out just because I've been working so hard. Things like that. I dont really think I'm asking too much or for it to be all the time, just here or there, to show me he does see the things I do for him and our family, and to let me know that he loves me and appreciates me. Thats all I really want is the loving relationship that we both so desperately want and need and for us both to be amazingly happy with each other and our life together.
So, for now I am going to start doing more of the "good wife" things he wants and make sure I show him more affection and attention and see where that goes. If there is any other advice please let me know. I want my husband to be to really be happy with us and our life and know that we can stay strong now matter what happens.
Does being a good wife mean doing everything around the house, like cleaning, cooking, picking up after your husband, making sure the house is sparkling every minute of every day, taking care of the kids, and working a full time job?? All the while your husband just works his 40 hours a week and comes home to sit and watch tv, or go out fishing/ hunting, or going to play video games til dark, and he just gets to live like a king. Or is being a good wife, keeping your husband happy in bed, staying in shape and looking good for your husband, and always having a smiling face and a kiss for him when he walks through the door??
I personally think that some of these things are for sure ways of being a good wife, but I was always taught that being in a marriage is working together as partners. If one is having a hard day or a bad week the other is suppose to pick up the slack and help more if needed. Now I understand that the "wife" title does come with responsibilities that are unspoken, but really is that what we are suppose to follow by or can we try to work together as a relationship.
I hardly even get a thank you, or you've been doing great, or good job, or any compliments like that. I know that I may not being doing all that I could be doing for my husband to be, but I'm not a slob. Our house is pretty clean most of the time other than the few bills that may pile up the dinning table, or the dishes in the sink, but over all our house is clean. I dont just sit on my butt and watch tv all day and eat and get fat. I mostly try to embrace my fiance's hobbies and have actually learned to enjoy most of them. But sometimes I still feel like I'm not being the "good wife" that he thinks I should be. I feel as though he thinks I should be all those things I listed above. That's hard for me to swallow sometimes, because I was brought up to be a strong, independent woman, and in relationships you are suppose to work as partners together to accomplish things. I love doing things together. Like cooking: him preparing and cooking the meat, and i would get together the sides and drinks. But that hardly even actually happens. I LOVE going hunting with him beside me, pointing out animals, and other nature sounds, being in the stand together, him coaching me and telling me exactly when to release or pull the trigger. Yet again, now that never happens, cause he wants to be in his own stand so that he can get a deer, drops me off somewhere I'm not familiar with and leave me there alone, knowing I get freaked out in the dark or whatever. I just LOVE to do things with my fiance TOGETHER, and usually now it doesn't happen, and if it does happen, there is always other people there, we can never just do something by ourselves... together. I dont know why either. It makes me sad but nothing I can really do I guess.
Now, dont get me wrong, I DO LOVE my husband to be with all my heart, and really the whole reason of this today is because I do want to make him happy and be that "good wife" that he wants me to be. Its just hard for me to know where to even start and if I do the things he wants, if he is going to say something smartass about it or not believe that I do actually want to do those things for him. I would also like for him to be a "good husband" every now and again. Like go out of his way to plan a dinner for us, surprise me with some flowers here and there, take me out just because I've been working so hard. Things like that. I dont really think I'm asking too much or for it to be all the time, just here or there, to show me he does see the things I do for him and our family, and to let me know that he loves me and appreciates me. Thats all I really want is the loving relationship that we both so desperately want and need and for us both to be amazingly happy with each other and our life together.
So, for now I am going to start doing more of the "good wife" things he wants and make sure I show him more affection and attention and see where that goes. If there is any other advice please let me know. I want my husband to be to really be happy with us and our life and know that we can stay strong now matter what happens.
Monday, August 1, 2011
August 1st already
So, today is the first day of August... the first day without cable or internet at home, only a little over 100 days before I get married, and hopefully soon I will have a full time job.
I can't believe this year has gone by so far already. We're almost to the fall months, even though here in Florida we dont get our fall months until late November, and then we pretty much go straight into winter. But its all good. Starting in September, its going to start getting hectic for me. Have to get the fittings done for the wedding, order the tuxes, finish the guest list and send to the planner, and finish up the rest of the wedding things. Then its on to October, when we have like 15 birthdays including mine, the bridal shower, the guys "man shower" for Chris, and a few other things. Then its our wedding month, November! We'll have my bachelorette party, then our wedding day and honeymoon cruise, and shortly after we get back Thanksgiving. Which is suppose to be at our house this year. Not so sure how that is going to work and I'm already stressing about that, and its a few months away still. Plus, after the wedding, I'll have to spend time and money changing my name on everything, and who knows how stressful thats gonna be. Oh and lets not forget the christmas shopping I have to find time and oh money out of thin air for. How the heck am I going to do all of this. Its seriously freaking me out. Like all I want to do is ball up and cry for awhile. So much to do and not enough time or money to do it all. Plus holidays are stressful enough, we have to find time for 4 different thanksgivings and like 5 different christmas' because of our families. AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *screaming* cause its so much to even think about, even though its months away still. This whole year has gone by so fast. Let's just hope for my sake and insanity that I found a full time job or win the lotto, or something really soon. I'm trying my best to stay positive but finding it easier to see the bad side of things lately. I need strength to stay positive, hope that I will get a better job soon, and a clear mind so that I can stay focused on the things that are really important and let the things go that aren't.
“Love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope; it can outlast anything. Love still stands when all else has fallen.”
“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.”
I can't believe this year has gone by so far already. We're almost to the fall months, even though here in Florida we dont get our fall months until late November, and then we pretty much go straight into winter. But its all good. Starting in September, its going to start getting hectic for me. Have to get the fittings done for the wedding, order the tuxes, finish the guest list and send to the planner, and finish up the rest of the wedding things. Then its on to October, when we have like 15 birthdays including mine, the bridal shower, the guys "man shower" for Chris, and a few other things. Then its our wedding month, November! We'll have my bachelorette party, then our wedding day and honeymoon cruise, and shortly after we get back Thanksgiving. Which is suppose to be at our house this year. Not so sure how that is going to work and I'm already stressing about that, and its a few months away still. Plus, after the wedding, I'll have to spend time and money changing my name on everything, and who knows how stressful thats gonna be. Oh and lets not forget the christmas shopping I have to find time and oh money out of thin air for. How the heck am I going to do all of this. Its seriously freaking me out. Like all I want to do is ball up and cry for awhile. So much to do and not enough time or money to do it all. Plus holidays are stressful enough, we have to find time for 4 different thanksgivings and like 5 different christmas' because of our families. AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *screaming* cause its so much to even think about, even though its months away still. This whole year has gone by so fast. Let's just hope for my sake and insanity that I found a full time job or win the lotto, or something really soon. I'm trying my best to stay positive but finding it easier to see the bad side of things lately. I need strength to stay positive, hope that I will get a better job soon, and a clear mind so that I can stay focused on the things that are really important and let the things go that aren't.
“Love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope; it can outlast anything. Love still stands when all else has fallen.”
“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.”
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
my first blog post.. here it goes..
so my first ever blog. I have to say I hope this will help me get things off my chest, hopefully make me feel better and heck maybe even be good at it and get followers one day!
Let's see, right now my biggest dilemma is that we seem to always be broke. I hate no having money to be able to make our bills and to be able to do fun things with our family and friends. Its like every time we get close to being on the better side something always knocks us down and pushes us right back down in the broke or we own money to someone. I HATE it... I hate the fact that I only work part time and right now thats the best I can do. But for some reason I feel like even my best isnt good enough sometimes. I hate that even though I try to find good jobs and I have a great interview that there is always someone else that has more "experience" than me and gets the job. I just want to be able to help support this family that we are trying to create without hurting us. I want to be able to have that extra money in the bank and know that we dont have to live paycheck to paycheck all the damn time. I want so much for for my life but cant seem to actually fulfill those hopes I have. How am I suppose to have experience, if I'm never given the opportunity to get the experience. I need and want a better life, I want a better job, and I want to not have to put all the stress and strain on my fiance to have to support our family. I know it hurts him, and I know it's hurting us, but I just dont know what to do. I put in apps everywhere for better jobs and I try the best I can to do whatever I have to, to help us save money but its still seems like its not good enough. I HATE THIS FEELING! What should I do?? I ask this question to my self all the time. and I try to stay positive and hope for the best but sometimes all I want to do is scream and cry and give up.
On top of just trying to survive everyday, we are getting married in Nov this year and I feel like we're being a burden on everyone. I feel like even though we did save and all that we are going to still be right where we started, even after all is said and done. trying to plan a wedding, bridal shower, and all the other things that go along with is so hard when you really are so broke you only have change left in your bank account friday at 5pm. it freaking sucks.
But, I guess all I can do right now is just keep on keeping on, trying to stay positive and do the best I can and hope one day that my best will pay off. That one day I will get a good job, succeed, and that I will be able to help support our family without having to burden anyone. Thats all I can do for now.
"There is no end, there is only a constant and brand new beginning!"
Let's see, right now my biggest dilemma is that we seem to always be broke. I hate no having money to be able to make our bills and to be able to do fun things with our family and friends. Its like every time we get close to being on the better side something always knocks us down and pushes us right back down in the broke or we own money to someone. I HATE it... I hate the fact that I only work part time and right now thats the best I can do. But for some reason I feel like even my best isnt good enough sometimes. I hate that even though I try to find good jobs and I have a great interview that there is always someone else that has more "experience" than me and gets the job. I just want to be able to help support this family that we are trying to create without hurting us. I want to be able to have that extra money in the bank and know that we dont have to live paycheck to paycheck all the damn time. I want so much for for my life but cant seem to actually fulfill those hopes I have. How am I suppose to have experience, if I'm never given the opportunity to get the experience. I need and want a better life, I want a better job, and I want to not have to put all the stress and strain on my fiance to have to support our family. I know it hurts him, and I know it's hurting us, but I just dont know what to do. I put in apps everywhere for better jobs and I try the best I can to do whatever I have to, to help us save money but its still seems like its not good enough. I HATE THIS FEELING! What should I do?? I ask this question to my self all the time. and I try to stay positive and hope for the best but sometimes all I want to do is scream and cry and give up.
On top of just trying to survive everyday, we are getting married in Nov this year and I feel like we're being a burden on everyone. I feel like even though we did save and all that we are going to still be right where we started, even after all is said and done. trying to plan a wedding, bridal shower, and all the other things that go along with is so hard when you really are so broke you only have change left in your bank account friday at 5pm. it freaking sucks.
But, I guess all I can do right now is just keep on keeping on, trying to stay positive and do the best I can and hope one day that my best will pay off. That one day I will get a good job, succeed, and that I will be able to help support our family without having to burden anyone. Thats all I can do for now.
"There is no end, there is only a constant and brand new beginning!"
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