so my first ever blog. I have to say I hope this will help me get things off my chest, hopefully make me feel better and heck maybe even be good at it and get followers one day!
Let's see, right now my biggest dilemma is that we seem to always be broke. I hate no having money to be able to make our bills and to be able to do fun things with our family and friends. Its like every time we get close to being on the better side something always knocks us down and pushes us right back down in the broke or we own money to someone. I HATE it... I hate the fact that I only work part time and right now thats the best I can do. But for some reason I feel like even my best isnt good enough sometimes. I hate that even though I try to find good jobs and I have a great interview that there is always someone else that has more "experience" than me and gets the job. I just want to be able to help support this family that we are trying to create without hurting us. I want to be able to have that extra money in the bank and know that we dont have to live paycheck to paycheck all the damn time. I want so much for for my life but cant seem to actually fulfill those hopes I have. How am I suppose to have experience, if I'm never given the opportunity to get the experience. I need and want a better life, I want a better job, and I want to not have to put all the stress and strain on my fiance to have to support our family. I know it hurts him, and I know it's hurting us, but I just dont know what to do. I put in apps everywhere for better jobs and I try the best I can to do whatever I have to, to help us save money but its still seems like its not good enough. I HATE THIS FEELING! What should I do?? I ask this question to my self all the time. and I try to stay positive and hope for the best but sometimes all I want to do is scream and cry and give up.
On top of just trying to survive everyday, we are getting married in Nov this year and I feel like we're being a burden on everyone. I feel like even though we did save and all that we are going to still be right where we started, even after all is said and done. trying to plan a wedding, bridal shower, and all the other things that go along with is so hard when you really are so broke you only have change left in your bank account friday at 5pm. it freaking sucks.
But, I guess all I can do right now is just keep on keeping on, trying to stay positive and do the best I can and hope one day that my best will pay off. That one day I will get a good job, succeed, and that I will be able to help support our family without having to burden anyone. Thats all I can do for now.
"There is no end, there is only a constant and brand new beginning!"
